So this is what has been on my mind all day long. I am MOTHER! I have 5 yes 5 children. Each one their own little creature. Each one with their own little quirks and frustrations and smile. My love for each of them is undescribeable. With my oldest daughter I though how could I love anyone more. Then my son came and it just grew, and grew and grew and grew. Until my heart is full of the love I have for every one of them.
I often times have found myself frustrated and sometimes mad that my career isn't what I think in my mind that it should be. I look at the way others have blossomed in my field (and believe me there are many) and i think how am I to keep up with the technology and styles. I barely have time for the little work I do do (ha I just spelled do do.. a reoccuring joke at my house of elementary school children.) So I find myself daydreaming the day away of how can I break into having those magazine spreads, or blog posts of beautiful weddings, or a perfect website. But I do not have many of these things. I have been privledged to have one or two of opportunities but never anything consistent. I LOVE my job as a photographer but even more I LOVE MY CHILDREN.
They are what comes first in my life. Just this afternoon I tried to book a class on learning more about the equipment I use, and realized that I have Wrestling practice, Cub Scouts, and Dance Class to make it to. And feed them dinner before they go so they don' t miss behave at their said activities. Being a Mom is the hardest job in the world. I hate that Women put their kids aside so their career will flourish. I am not taking away from those of you Women who have to work. I respect you tremendously and know that every person's situation is different. I sometimes wish that I could be you and do what I do full time.
But I wouldn't wish these moments that I get to spend with them away for anything. Even the moments when your three year old throws a 15 minuet fit in Joannes because you won't buy her jewelry box that is 20 dollars...
So hug those little people who made you Momma's they are here to teach more than you will ever teach them. And forgive you every time you make a mistake, and loose your temper. They love you no matter what. You made them, they are a part of you. Keep them safe and remember how those little smiles light up your day even when it has been down in the dumps kind of day..
